My VBAC story :)

 Fair warning; this is a birth story so if you are squeamish about “details” and pictures, I suggest you stop reading.  J

I never thought in a million years I’d be writing my VBAC story. If you read earlier in my blog, I go into detail about how much research I’ve done and as well as the years of waiting.

 Both of my son’s birth stories are ones I will treasure for the rest of my life. They are both so different and unique, just as they are as individuals. With Ethan, I was uneducated and I trusted the “medical model”. In which, I ended up with an unnecessary induction of labor which ended up in an unnecessary cesarean. His birth was traumatic but beautiful. When I found out I was pregnant with little Matthew, I was so excited. I was determined to birth my baby the way I wanted to. It’s taken me about a week to piece everything together on little to no sleep! So I apologize for any grammatical errors.

Here is Matthew’s story…

Monday 10/14/13

9pm-I lay down to go to bed for the night, feeling completely exhausted.

11pm: I wake up feeling as if I slept all night and to what it feels like a really bad stomach ache. So I go to the bathroom not sure what end it's going to come out of and it ends up being both ends at the same time. So I think "great, food poisoning!” I text my sister and ask her if she felt sick as well since we both had ice cream at Dairy Queen earlier that evening. She says she feels fine so I hop in the shower and head back to bed.

11:45pm: Mark crawls into bed and I wake up having that really bad stomach ache again. So head back into the bathroom and this time nothing comes out. But I do notice the toilet water was bright pink when I get up. It kind of dawned on me that that could be my "bloody show" and I start to get a tad nervous. I do notice some mild cramps at this point-not menstrual, but they felt like they were in my groin. I begin timing and they are 30sec long and 2-3 min apart. The pain is very tolerable at this point.

10/15/13

12-12:30am: I text and then eventually call my doula, Ivette. She tells me to take another shower, see if the "cramps" go away and to call her back in 15min. So I hop back in the shower and the cramps keep coming, this time more regular where I can feel the start and end. Still 2 min apart.  I get cleaned up, blow dry my hair, then whisper to Mark that something may be happening. He asks if he could do anything but I told him to sleep for now.  So then I head downstairs to call Ivette back. As the phone is ringing and she answers (at the same time I'm going to sit on the couch) my water breaks! So I stay on the phone and wobble over to the bathroom...mean while every step I take, I feel a gush. I sit on the toilet and bam, my contractions intensify 100%. Now Ivette tells me to try and lay down to get some rest but she'll call back in 30min. I couldn't even lay down. The thought of moving into another position made me want to throw up. Still the contractions were 2-3min apart and the longest was 45sec. I go upstairs and attempt to finish packing the hospital bag and also get Ethan’s bag packed.

 

 Now about 2am (I think, my sense of time looking back is off lol) I call my mom to come and get my 3yr old and also let Ivette know that it was time for her to come over. They both arrive-my memory is slightly fuzzy about the exact details-but I tried sitting on my yoga ball, leaning over the couch, laying down, etc. and still the contractions were getting stronger. The pain at this point is tolerable but the thought of them getting worse in the car during the ride to the hospital made me very nervous. Contractions are still 2-3min apart and 30-45 sec long.

 

 Around 4am or so, I make the call that “it is time”.  We pack up and head to the hospital. I have about 7 contractions during the 25 min drive. I can tell Mark is getting nervous by the way he is driving. We arrive at L&D and they take me right into triage. By this point, I'm unable to breath and focus during the contractions. I ask if Ivette can come back and they decline.  Since I was a "trial of labor"/VBAC the on call OB was on me like snot. As I was trying to find my focus, the nurses keep telling me how to breathe and not be vocal. I was not happy and was starting to lose all focus. At some point the on call OB comes in and basically says to me, "it's our policy to tell you the risks. Your uterus may rupture and you and your baby could die". And since I was in the middle of a contraction, I told her to "please give me a min" but she kept insisting I make eye contact with her. I snap (which is unlike me!) and promptly tell her she could “go f*ck herself”. She wishes me luck and walks out. The nurse checks me and I’m 4cm, 70% effaced, and -2 station.

 

About an hour to an hour and a half passes, and they finally admit me and move me into a labor room. My original plan was to have no pain medication but at this point with the contractions being VERY strong and still in that same every 2-3min and lasting 30-45sec pattern, I was done. Women feel the pain in different ways and these contractions felt so different from when I was induced with Ethan. I felt no pain in my abdomen, it was all in my groin and thighs. I finally get relief at almost 6:30am when I get my epidural. And it was fantastic! Exactly what I wanted. It took that God awful pain in my legs and groin away but I was able to feel the baby and him moving down. The pain was tolerable and I was able to breathe through my contractions still.

 

 Things progressed over the following hours nicely. At one point, it was suspected that the baby was posterior, so I was put in different positions to try to get him to turn. An internal fetal monitor was offered/semi pushed on me but I gently declined. All because I was a Trial of Labor, the CNM on call was treating me as high risk. I started to get nervous because I wanted to be left alone per my birth “wish list”! Shortly after the monitor was “offered”, there was a shift change and my new team made it very clear that my wishes will be respected. Oh I was so thankful! I also assured my new team that I’d be flexible as well.

 

 I believe I hit 7-8 cm at around 9-10am then 9cm at around 11am. I was feeling super pushy before that and they let me push with my contractions, which felt great even though I was feeling everything but the contraction pain in my legs. With every contraction that I was pushy with, I was able to feel him move down! It was incredible! As he moved down, I could feel his hands moving around lower and lower. I was amazed that I was actually doing this!  I’d say I pushed gently with my contractions starting at around 10:30-11am and at around 12pm, I hit 10cm and +2 station. It was time to have us a baby!

 

 I honestly ended up with the best team.  Between my amazing doula, my wonderful hubby, and a VBAC supportive nurse (I think there were more than one, there came a point where I didn't care or count the bodies in the room!) and the CNM, I knew I had this! As I was moving the baby down, everyone in the room noted that he had long dark hair! A mirror was offered but I declined. As I felt my sweet baby move down, things got increasingly painful but still tolerable. I couldn’t believe my body was doing this! All without any Pitocin or any augmentation of my labor!

 

 There came a point when I was pushing, where it was pointed out that my sweet baby needed more room to come out. About half way into pushing, I started to tear- Ouch, which I felt!  I, myself could feel that "something else was going to give" if I continued but thought of an episiotomy terrified me- out of all the "risks" thrown in my face about a VBAC or even a vaginal birth in general , I was scared about this! I knew I was so close to meeting my sweet baby and after my doula and hubby get me to calm down, it was time to get the baby out. Out of my entire labor, the end was the most intense and painful. Even though I had local anesthetic and a light epidural, I felt everything the CNM was doing. At the same time she was cutting, I felt a hand on my baby's head and I was told to push HARD. I believe I was screaming but within a few seconds, his head was out and I’m told to push harder to get his shoulders then the rest of him out. Next thing I know, he’s out and crying!  

 

 Matthew Paul Johnson was born 10/15/13 at 2:11pm at 40wks 2 days gestation (39 weeks 5 days according to my OB's early numbers), tipping the scales at 8lbs 11oz, 20.75in long, with a 15in head and a hand by his face. Total labor: 14hrs with just over 2 hours of hard pushing. APGARs 9. They clean him up a bit then place him on my chest. I couldn’t believe how beautiful this little person was! The CNM allows time to pass before it was time to cut the cord, which was what I wanted. It takes about 30min or so for me to get stitched up, which gave Mark and me more time to be in awe over everything that just had happened. It was such a beautiful moment for us, since last time we felt we were robbed of meeting and touching our baby immediately after the birth. I suffered from pretty severe post-partum depression after Ethan was born and it took me many months to actually bond with him. This time, the bond was immediate. There is nothing like it in the entire world.

 

I feel complete. :)

 

*Birth Photography done by: Ivette Carter- Doula*

I'll post more pics soon! :)